Andrew Dice Clay – Dice Rules

Andrew Dice Clay – Dice Rules



How are ya

Korean Delis, Indiana newsstands, Greek diner, and ass fucking parties, every fucking night of the week that’s New York. How are ya? What a fucking crowd huh? Madison square fucking garden. Top of the world mom. And I feel the vibe in the room, a lot of energy. We got some cute looking whores looking out. I’m all about pussy, I’ll tell you that much. I love it I dream it fuck it. And we’ll talk about that, because it’s a new decade, I got a whole new look and it’s all here it’s all here. 


Because being back in New York, being back you feel that fuckin attitude all the time you know. Even birds man, fucking birds have an attitude. They don’t just shit on you by mistake, they aim. Oh yeah, you could be walking with your chick, and they zoom right in and shit on your nose. Your chick is like “honey your nose, you got shit on your nose” and the attitude we got here, well maybe I want it there. Why don’t you shut your fucking hole I know there fucking, shit on my nose, but I get even on some fucking birds. I go to the park with some bread, feed it to them it has fuckin poison in it. I wait till they fall out of the fucking sky and I walk over to each one. Alright fucking scum which one of is the one that fucking shit on me?

Phone Sex

I can’t wait, I’ll tell you. They got fucking telephone sex now. That’s right, but i can’t wait till you can actually see the person on television, when they come out with that I’m not leaving the house, for no money. And I’m jerking off on the phone, I’ll be honest with ya. But I don’t like to call all these phone numbers to jerk off. I don’t like not knowing what the chick looks like, I call a chick I know. I don’t want to think that a big fat fucking pig balding with big ears, I got to know what I’m jerking off to. But you know what happens with some of these chick, they get embarrassed. So you’re way into the thing and all of a sudden you’re like uhh uhhh and she’s like, um, look right my parents are over there, call me in another week.  I really gotta go click. And you’re on the other end going uhh uhh uhh and you can picture her on the other end of the phone, uh mother would you like another piece of Danish, and you’re starting to steam you’re looking at that phone and you pick it up. Uh uh. Mom passed the sweet and low, uh. Piece of shit, and I ain’t’ taking you outside. Jerking off that’s all it’s about pal, don’t matty this one, what do you think you’re done fucking chick. Look at the fucking tits on that animal. Look at the big fat motherfucking tits. They are spectacular. You telling me she won’t look good with balls across her chin, you telling me that? Show me those tits, go ahead. Show em the fucking tits, get the fuck up, move get the fuck up, turn around show em the fuckin tits. Look at the fucking lips on her, she could suck tennis balls through a tennis racquet. But yeah go get married 

Ya can’t be nice to them

Ah yeah you can’t even be nice to me, they don’t even understand when you’re being nice to them. You could go Honey, I love you, simple thing. I love you, what do they go into? Really, well do you love because you need me? Or do you love me just because you love me. Oh go fuck yourself, cook me some dinner you dumb dunce. Oh I can’t deal with marriage, I’m telling ya. 

Christmas Present

Now I know I’ve talked about what happens before you marriage nut after ya marry em, you’re over there every Sunday, and the mother starts breaking your fucking horn, she’s like let me ask you are you taking care of our little girl, and you’re looking at the mother like, let me tell you something about this fucking whore, huh. Ever since I married her, she don’t clean the toilet, she don’t lick my ass, she don’t do nothing, maybe if you blew me, she gets a Christmas gift, maybe Cause I’ll tell you, don’t get me wrong I’m good with my girl for Christmas I bought her everything. I bought her this uh  this beautiful, this um, this dustpan. Oh you had to see the look on her fucking fact I had her initials engraved, and you know what it was, last year I got her the broom. And I forgot the dustman, so all year she’s sweeping shit into her hand, now she sees the dustpan years later. She knows I didn’t fucking forget, she got this look, just staring at me. I’m just standing there huh. Unbelievable, pick something up for me, huh. 

Hoity Toity Chicks

I know how to treat a lady. You go out you pick up a bunch of chick, yeah you snapper hear? Stupid fug. Where do you go to pick up chicks, discos, discos aren’t bad. It just chicks in discos go the hoity toity attitude. Ya know, you come over to em, hey baby what’s going on, you want to dance. No I don’t dance .Okay great, do you want to just blow me in the toilet so I can get out of here. My wife don’t even know where I am so let’s get it done. I just have no told me, but we got good looking chicks in the front, double loads for each of you. Look at this front row, give me the finger. I like that. Jerkoff .he got no brains, you’d fuck any chick .You would you’re that type. You’ll get so many disease that your dick will look like a cheese pizza with everything on it. That’s what I think. Right honey. 

Opportunity in America

Little more tit, little more tit, fucking animal. I’d bang that without even thinking about it, that’s the beautification of America. The opportunity man. The fucking opportunity. I mean here, look at guys like Geraldo. Look at fucking geraolod. The guys on tv for 10 fucking years hasn’t done one show yet. I remember about four years ago, I’m watching the herald, and he’s doing this show about um, he’s digging into Al Capone’s safe. And I’m with this whore, who I’m gonna bang, did I mention I was gonna fuck her but I figured I’d take out two minutes to watch this show, 2 hours later, geraold’s still on tv, going we’re still digging. He finally gets in the guy’s grave there’s nota piece of link, not an old newspaper, no a thing, I’m sitting there thinking, you fuck. Where the fuck do you get your balls to think you keep me up for three hours when I coil be banging this whore. What do I do, what do I do, I go to visit his show cause he has a question and answer period. So I’m there, I’m patient i raise my hand, he goes yes you have a question. Yes. I go SPICE, who di you blow to get this fucking job huh? Where do you get your balls big enough to keep up all night with a hard on and you go nothing to show from it. But that’s because we live in America, the greatest country in the world. You get those opportunities. 


That’s why I get the opportunity to stand up here and talk about Japan. Japs aren’t funny, come on. Come on. Let me tell you something if it wasn’t for Donald Trump the japs would own every fucking thing. But they could fold a shift around those people boy. And they must. They always look like they’re taking a shit. They’re always like hhhhh. They look like they’re taking a shit or jerking off. There are so many japs in this city that soon enough I’ll have my act in Japanese, I’ll be coming out like . Sucking my dick. 

Handicaps, Cripples

There’s everything you can make fun of, c’mon what about people who twitch. You ever look at a jerk off woh twitches, you try to talk to the guy, so anyway, I thought that.. Memory… what’s with the pointing of the guy, you gonna make left? What about stutters. These guys, so anyway, ttt tt what the fuck are you trying to say. You’re 30 years old, talk like other people. No fucking tolerance. Maybe it’s the 90’s I don’t know. But you get on a bus you got these old people with walkers. They got fucking walks, and they’re slow as shit. It’s like your stop comes and here’s this old fuck on a walker. And it’s like they do it they have to concentrate on their tongue. You’re trying to get off the bus and they’re in front of you like. And you’re like get the fuck off the bus. I got shit to do. Get a wheelchair. AH amn, I can’t deal with it. That’s it. There’s this one time, this one handicap guy I saw a few years ago. I’m with this chick, I was gonna fuck her, did i say that. That goes without saying. We’re drinking wine. It’s nice, the music is down low. Then all of sudden this guy comes walking in, you ready for this fucking guy. MMhmmm, get the fuck out of here. What’s the matter of here. Get the fuck out, I’m throwing up. Get the fuck out. I couldn’t even get a hard on. But i love people. And that guy is doing pretty good. I saw him on star search. 

Don’t move

Uh Jesus. Not your fuckin mouth. What toilet did you pop out of? This is the type of guy who gets out of the shower to take a piss. That’s what happens when you don’t jerk off everyday, you start going crazy. Go sit the fuck down I don’t want to deal with you no more. I got no tolerance for nothing. I’m telling you man, and if you bang em to olong you get in an argument anyway balls are bouncing off her ass. All of sudden she’s like wait, don’t move and I don’t know about you, but I got an attitude about that shit, I’m like who are you talking to like that? Don’t move. Go stop, what do I look like a fucking s traffic light to you, whose doing the fucking here. Ahh man, I love people I pick on everyone. 

Double Parking

Everything is good even when I tell you don’t marry her. Go ahead marry her man, how do you know where’s she’s been. How do you know she’s not the biggest fucking whore to walk this fucking town man. I wen with this one girl, she was such a fucking tramp I had to double tuck my dick on her ass, and wait an hour to get in. oh it’s un fucking believable. 

The Car Ride

There is always arguments. You can’t stop arguing with a chic. You can come home work your fucking nuts off for a week but come Friday night they’re standing there at the their door, that look in their head, that take me out, and your standing there thinning I’m just gong to stay  in scratch my balls or whatever. And they’re like hey guess what Cindy is having a party,d o you want  to go? So like a good sport, you’re like okay I’ll take the fucking whore out, so you jump in the shower, you’re a good sport about it, you’re driving along. All of a sudden she’s got to start, uh why didn’t you make the left back there, I figured I’d go straight what’s the rush, I would have made the left, but your not driving why don’t you just sit there and shut up. Why do you have to talk to you, I’m not talking to you anyway, I have the radio on so I don’t even fucking hear you anymore. So why don’t you just sit there and shut your fucking hole stupid, well you don’t have to call me names. I’m not calling you names, honey I’m trying to drive you astarte to the left and right. What do you care, it’s not the cash of the fuckjing century, take me home. What, what do you mean take you home. Cause your giving me a fucking attudite. What, I’m not giving you a fucking attitude. I didn’t even want to go out, you staranding there with that look in your head, I girure I’ll be a nice guy put on a set of fucking drawers but no you got to start in with the make the left make the left make the left well I didn’t make the fucking elf, so just sit there and shut your fucking mouth. So now we get to the party. And I fuck her friend Cindy. On principle. 

The Driveway

Cause that’s how I am with a chick, when I’m out with a chick I drop a load. If I buy her coffee, I don’t care if I have to walk up the fucking driveway jerking off the whole way up, I’m dropping a load in her presence. Unfuckingbeliable. 

Subway Travel

You know a lot of guys, especially in New York, out in la they don’t have a subway system. But here. They do, and a lot of people don’t like it. But I know how to use the subway system. Like I’ll set my alarm clock for 8 o’clock, of course I don’t even have a day job, this is what I do. I’ll get on those rush hour trains at 8clcok for that 8 o’clock grind. You passed every chick in the train, you got your dick lodged in 400 asses before you hit a deep cough avenue. You drop a lot, you turn around, you’re back in bed before nine o’clock. Your day has started. Cause I’ll tell you there’s nothing like jerking off, any guy knows that. You’re on a date. Nothing Like jerking off, any day you’ll be pulling out many loads, you’ll be pulling out knee calitfage after the third one, you don’t care. 

The Grocery Store

There’s all kinds of places to pick up chicks. What about the grocery, cl;mon. You go over, feeling a couple of tomatoes, you go over, hey those tomates look like you’re tits. You gotta know what to do with them, next thing you know you’re in the car, and she’s blowing ya, and the beauty of getting blown in the grocery store parking lot is that you’re watching all the other good looking ones walk out. And you think about them blowing ya. That’s what I think. 

Industrial Size

You gotta know what you’re doing. I know you’re a jerk off artist, I see the way you treat your left hand. You got the old knuckle shuffle, I didn’t forget that. Jerking off no matter what I talk about. King. That’s why come winter time, I go to the neighborhood drug store and pick up an industrial size can of vaseline, and the girl behind the counter, always gives me shit “what do you need such a big can of vaseline for?” my girlfriend likes it in the shitter, you know how it is honey. You gotta know how to talk to people snapperhead. 

The Urinal

It’s fun to bang a chick toilet too if you ever do that. That way you’re real close to unreal for the after piss. That’s what I think. I’m a very sick man. 

1989 A Review

Uh man, let me see if i’ve completed the entire act. Cause i’ve got the whole fucking act right here, we did jerking off in the subwya, we did banging chicks in a bedroom, check. And a double park on her ass, the cheese pizza thing, what’d ya yell out. Mother goose, so you want to review 1989. (a rap) Little miss muffet sat on her truffet, eating a curse and lying, little miss spidey sat down on the seat, said hey what’s in the bowl bitch oh! Turn the lights on i want to see this fucking crowd. Let me fuckign see you. How you doing. Jack and jiill went up the hill both with a buck and a quarter, jill came down with 2.50 That fucking whore. Little boy blue, oh. Truee blind mice see how the run where the fuck are they going. Jack be nimble jack be quick, jack burnt off his fucking dick. You know you’re pretty good and i like that, and i had a feeling you wanted to do those so like always i never stop working. And i’ve put together a few new poems. Rocka baby on the tree, oh your mothera a whore oh. You like that one, here’s one for you, einny minny moon suck my dicka nd sawallow slow. Oh. twinkle twinkel little star, how i wonder who you as, as I shine upon the fucking lto, eat my girlfreind butt oh. Patty cake patty cake bakers man, if your chicks on her period fuck her int he can. Well just yo recimsint a little, Georgie pudding and pie jacked off in his girlfriend’s eye, when she was all good and shut Georgie fucked that one eyed slut. Oh . Hickory dickory dock. , some dick was sucking my cock, the clock struck 2 and dumped my glue, bad bing. And of course, how can i leaven out, the poem, jack spack could eat not fat, his wife could eat no lean so jack and gor and licked her asshole clean. One of my personal favorites, mary mary quite the tarry, trim that pussy it’s so damn hairy. Hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle the cat jumped over the moon, that’s more than my lazy wife does that fat lazy bambon. Little bow peep, fucked a sheep, blew a horse licked, she ate his ass, so very nice hung to his balls not once but twice. An old lady lived in a shoe, had so many kids her uterus fell out. Oh mother hubbard went to the cupboard to get an old dog to give her a bone, she bent over. Oh, she got a bone of her own. Be a good old mother goose, remember her, i’d fuck her. YOu are an unbelievable crowd i”m having a great time with you. 

Bad Press

Let me tell you something, I know that, I know that I’ve been getting a lot of bad press. About the kind of language I use, and things I talk about. No but let me tell you this one thing, let me tell yout his one thing, if the press doens’t understand how funny it is that 20,000 people gather in madison square garden and laugh at mother goose poems they can take their pappers and whip their fucking asses with it. That’s what I think. I’m thrilled to be here at the garden. They don’t have a championship belt for comedians but if they did i would be the undisputed comedy king. 


We got all kinds of shit happening here tonight. You like dishing it out on the first date. You spread it out on the first date? Do you spread it out? A lot of these chick aren’t smart, do things ass backwards, know what I mean? You know what I”m saying, then they bore you in the car. Now you get to her apartment, she’s like “you gonna walk me up” you look at her like, for what? Lieke what you got a gift up there for me, your mother awake, what’s going to happen? And I ate after they blew me. You know you taste really good. What was this a blow job or the pepsi challenge? And then you what they do, this in finally, they wanna kiss you, they come in for that big mushy kiss, real droller you know what I meant. Hey honey, if I wanted to taste it, I’d be a fucking faggot. Hey. Blow jobs are for chicks. Tricks are for kids, blow jbos are for chicks. 

Shakin’ Hands

Shaking hands is the most disgusting custom ever invented. Why do people do that, you know how hands feel sometimes, sweaty sticking, they could have just whipped their ass. Tap head, smash your dicks together or something. WHy do we gotta shake hands? You know what I mean. 

Chicks Aren’t Funny

But some couples fall in love like this couple here, you gotta be in love to sit in the front and watch me. Cause you know, you’re finished. I mean she’s alright, you’re happy, i could see it, she’s got the whole look. You’re married to this, no, you’re smart.l You’re just banging her on off nights, when you’re not with the guys. You’re not hanging with her cause she’s fun. Chicks aren’t fun they never were. You know what I mean. Hang with the guys you have a good time. When the last time she stuck her ass out of the car and mooned the guy next to you? She aint’ gonna do that, but jooey will. The last time she went to a porno movie and jerked off all in front he sat next to you. But joeys gonna do that. They can cook they can bake they can do that shit yeah that’s nice. 

3 Beautiful Dates

You gotta know how to end the relationship. Not begin wone. Icall it three beautiful dates, you know what i mean, cause normally a guy takes out a chick by her looks, you’re attracted and you want ot bang her, but you can’t just grab a girl off the street, and say hey i want to bang you. So there is some money that has to be laid out. Get a hotel room. So what do you do, you call them on like a tuesday, they go crazy for that, that advanced notice. Like you really afr,e you call her ona tuesday and say i want to take you out saturday, cause if a chick stays home saturday she cuts her wrist, but if a guy stays home saturday he jerks off all over himself, it’s  great night. Bu8t with a chick what am igoing to do, tis’ the end of the worl dhtey dont’ knwo theyr stupid wlel omsot ofhtem, so you take her out saturday night wear a beautiful suit, you go to a resxzturatn, listen ot w3ht she says liek you crea. Then next Tuesday you call her,and then Thursday right, right. Bring her some flowers, she’s already got a plan to get married in 6 months. She’s telling her mothers he’s the greatest, now it’s the third week you call her up. Every fuckign day, every day you send a little card, what’s going to take, wahs’ another 5 six dollar in cards, so now there’s going to bang you, and now it’s like how am i going to get rid of her, she’ thinks we’re ogni be the perfect gentleman. So you’re in bed like, ready for the gunk, gunk?She’s looking at you like a gunk. Hurry up, I got there. Some of these hcikcs are hard up their liet it pass. They’ll actually want to go out with you again,cause they told mom what a great guy you are. So now you’re in the restaurant again. Causes your such a great guy. Follow this. You follow this/ right you’re having a great you get up to pay for the chick and your balls are hanging out of your plant, and you’re looking at your balls, and she’s looking at you, my balls out my pants. How’d my balls get out of my balls, where are my balls all over the place? Where my fucking balls. You believe this. Got marinara sauce on them. Common my balls. And then normally they don’t want to see you again.that’s what i think. You know what I mean. So there is a lot of work . guys get tricky with balls. You anyway you get married, what’s going to happen you’re going to cheat on her. What are you telling me? What are you yelling, what are you yelling. You’re aloud that should have been swallowed. That’s what I think of you. Look what i got to deal weight. Hecklers. At my own showl. 


Ahh I go with chicks, no matter how many, that’s what I like. You go to a porno movie, to me that’s an action flick. That Steve Segal shit, that’s fine, but I like action. Have you ever seen a vagina on screen? Looks like a hann fucking tunnel. 

Debbie Duz Everything

So I went to see this one, it was about this woman who just got married it was called Debbie does everything that get in her way, so it’s starts out she had a fight with his husband, she takes out in the car, and what does she do, she goes to this Jewish deli. Kosher meat. There is this guy Mendel working behind the counter, so he’s giving her freetaste with the voern beef, next thing you know he’s on top of her, you ever hear a Jewish guy make love it’s unbelievable. It’s like, how. Touch it bitch. Who, shake the bit bit. Get cancer, you [piece of shit. So now what happens this little Chinese guy hears what’s going he comes pruning in and sees Debbie doing this shit, so now the chink gets behind her right , and he get behind her, and starts fucking her. Should get cancer you piece of shit. So Debbie is crazy. She grabs her holler and runs out of the restaurant and trips out of this Indian who lives outside of the resaturtn in a tiptree. I don’t know how he got there right. So he grabs her, and throws her in the teepee and next thing you know he’s on top of her, and she’s excited she never fucked quanto right. He gets on top, and he’s like. You whore your piece of trash, you fuckign peice of shit, get cancer. So now what happens he starts feeling a little bad she feels bad she let her husband it happens you know who these whores are. All he wanted was an excuse to get the fixx So she’s driving home and she pulls into a gas station for a little gas right. So i said trying a gas station he’s real cool. He goes I know, I think you need a tune up. So he gets her in the rage next thing you know, he’s standing behind her, oh. Oh. oh. You should get cancer, you piece of. 

Filthy in bed

But she’s pretty sexy. She is sexy in bed, she talks dirty, she gives it to you that way? Come on this is an adult show, come on what’s the big line that puts you over the top. Because they’re filthy in bed. They come over. You write this shit for me, I don’t write any of this I don’t’ know why, I’ll get in bed with a chick, I give her a nice little fuck type of thing, I’m going to keep quite watch the game, but all of sudden, oh use my cun, fuck my cunt, shut your load into my motherfucker fat loud puppy fucking motherfucker cunt. So I go along with it. Because I’m a nice person. But now twenty minutes later, you’re in the living room watching a ballgame, she’s in the kitchen it’s like she doesn’t even remember anything, hey do me a favor, cunt, grab me a beer, she looks at you like what. Cunt a beer, what’s the problem? Don’t you remember, cunt, call me. They gotta make up their minds, I mean could you imagine being out for dinner with the family, hey cunt could you pass the rolls. The whole family looks like what, you gotta make up your mind with a nickname. 

Salt and Pepper

Where the twins, there they are. Salt and pepper, two chicks, black hair and blonde hair. Nice tits, nice lips, nice ases. How much? 

Smoking’ For your health

Ay you like em. Look at you, look at you. Another few beers. People come in tell me to stop smoking how it’s not good for your health, but you come in drink six six packs. So what I’ll do, I’ll stand on the side street, as you’re wrapping your car around a telephone pole, and I’ll Say, will you look at that? Stop smoking fucking idoits. Now they’re gonna take the machines out of the store, like that’s that gonna stop you. People are so dumb. 

The news

The dumd shit you see on the news, like this own newscasters who want to go in the men’s locker room. I mean look at what they’re making an issue out of these ugly fucking dogs. That’s saw, those prick fuckign lookers. They went ot school so they had a fucking license to walk in a locker room and look at prick. Am i right, did you see the one, who said they molested her? Did you ever see someone so ugly in your fucking life. Now she’s pissed off can’t even look at prick, dumb prick looker looking bastard. There are more important thing in this world than prick looking. That’s what I think.

Fat orgasmas

That’s why I just bang someone and forget about the world. That’s why I told you I fuck fat man, you can have an organism anywhere with a fat chick. You’re in bed, uh uh, fold your ear. Uh that’s it press your armpit, fold your leg around my dick you fat fuckign cunt.

Black chicks

You bang a lot of guys, you bang a lot of guys? Huh what’s your name? Idiot? You’re an idiot. Uh fuck. What’s your name, talk. See i can’t take that. These white girls today, white honky motherfucker. Jewish chicks, plastic furniture, sit and talk to the parents for a while. Not like black chicks, black chicks have a sensuality and a warmth that no white chicks can approach. 

A vibrant beautiful woman

Don’t you agree honey. No you seem like a nice girl, you got a boyfriend, you dig me don’t you. C’mon you don’t watch me, cause i don’t appeal to you. And you can see I think you’re pretty good. So when I tell you you’re a vibrant beautiful woman that I want to hold you, band ya in the ass. Shot some malt in the ass. You gotta believe me. Why would i lie. You know i know how to treat a woman. 

Woman’s world

Um, it’s a woman’s world thought. Today women can do anything. What kind of job did you get? Secretary, perfect. You’re a phone answer, a coffee bringer, it’s a good job. Hate these women who go to me. I’m gonna make it to the top. C’mon women don’t run the world. You got that one or two who suck or fuck their way to the top, bu tthen they become dykes, that’s what I think. 

The first blow job

What about you, anything you’d like to talk about, giving head? I’d like to meet the chick that invented that, you know. What an ingenious idea. I mean could you imagine, you were the first chick, think of it, think of it. Linda. You’re in a car, nobody has ever done it, you’re making out with this guy, you’re like you know what I’m feeling something, these signals start crossing your brian.  And you’re thinking I want to take this guy’s big hairy piss top cock in my mouth. I would shake your hand for that. 

People are pricks

But today everyone’ sin to the big health thing, watch out what you do. Going opt the gym everyone is feeling good about themselves, everyone is eating right, everyone can go fuck themes Leve. That’s why you get pricks. I used to be nice. Till I went into traffic with you cocksucker, you know what you do when you try opt make a right turn into traffic and you tailgate the guy in front of you, and your looking at your going against traffic and you go fuck em shoulod have been there. You know when you’re in an elevator and the guy is 2feet away and your close the door, fuck em scqubag. Ain’t in the mood for another mood for another person in here, want a personal ride. Your in line at the grocery, you got a whole thing of fucking food,  one guy comes up with one item, you don’t’ even look at them, that’ show nice people are. And the guys like um, huh, excuse me, I just have butter. Just one thing of butter and you look at him yeah so, what’ shte problem, look what you have, well I’ve been waiting here for twenty minutes. That’s when you have to take out your cock and piss on the guy.a and then turn out and don’t pay for the battery. You know what i’m saying cause your a prick. 

Ya hear

Look at you. Shit you’re (?) know what I’m saying, know what I’m saying yeah! We’ll do it all together, I go like this. I’ll say know what I mean, understand, no you don’t do this, you’re a jerkoff. Know what it means, get it, here. So after get it, you all come in with yeah. And then we all say, ay ay. Ready? Know what I mean  I hear yea. What is that? That’s how owl back got started. 

Apartment LIfe

You live in an apartment building? You hate your fucking neighbors. It’s like, I’m home jerking off, all of sudden the fucking price that lives next door rings my fucking door, all of sudden I’m pissed off. I’m in the middle of jerking off, so I answer the door, and it’s really the chick, knowing what I mean, didn’t hear, alright, alright. That’s it, I’m taking off. I’ll see ya. Goodbye. Alright, I’ll see ya. 

Brooklyn Bad Boy


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